managing conflict between employees

Jeremy Pollack, Ph.D. is a conflict resolution specialist and founder of Pollack Peacebuilding and Peaceful Leaders Academy. He is also Chairman of the Board of the Peaceful Leadership Institute, the President of the Florida chapter of the Association for Conflict Resolution, and Chair of the Workplace Peace Committee of Division 48 (Division of Peace Psychology) of the American Psychological Association. His credentials include being a Certified Organizational Development Coach (CODC™), a Certified Clinical Trauma Specialist-Individual (CCTS-I™), and an Associate Certified Coach (ACC) under the International Coaching Federation. Jeremy is an Adjunct Professor of Psychology at Arizona College, and still actively participates in coaching and training sessions offered by his companies. He lives in Miami with his wife, Jenny, and their labradoodle, Denver.

Workplace disagreements happen to the best of us. Maybe a brainstorming session has veered off course, or you find yourself at odds with your boss’s view. The key is knowing how to disagree respectfully—it’s a skill that sets strong professionals apart. Healthy debate can actually fuel innovation. But if disagreements turn toxic, they can damage projects and relationships alike.

Did you know that nearly 85% of employees deal with some form of conflict at work? This highlights the need to navigate differences of opinion without resorting to personal attacks. It’s about understanding the other person’s perspective and disagreeing in a way that promotes collaboration, not division.

This skill is a hallmark of the kind of leaders we train at Peaceful Leaders Academy—those who can disagree respectfully and create a truly harmonious work environment.

The Importance of Respectful Disagreement in the Workplace

Respectful disagreement might sound contradictory, but it’s a critical skill for building a successful and harmonious work environment.

Promotes Innovation and Better Solutions

When we embrace disagreement, we open space for a wider range of ideas to be considered. Respectfully challenging the status quo can lead to breakthrough solutions that might never have been discovered under a blanket of forced agreement.

Builds Stronger Relationships

Disagreeing respectfully shows that you value a colleague’s or boss’s input, even if you don’t see eye-to-eye. It strengthens trust and demonstrates your willingness to work together to find the best path forward.

Encourages Critical Thinking

Disagreeing forces us to examine our assumptions, question biases, and see issues from a broader perspective. This type of critical thinking enhances our problem-solving skills and contributes to personal growth.

Fosters a Culture of Openness

When team members feel safe to respectfully disagree, it creates an environment where everyone’s voice is valued. This leads to higher engagement, better decision-making, and a greater sense of psychological safety for the whole team.

Allows for Finding Common Ground

While focusing on areas of disagreement is important, healthy disagreement aims to identify points of agreement that can pave the way to collaboration. Learning to stay calm, understand each other’s position, and respectfully disagree often uncovers more common ground than initially expected.

Meeting between the leader and the team

Understanding Different Perspectives and Fostering Open-Mindedness

At the heart of respectful disagreement lies a deep commitment to understanding viewpoints different from ours.

The Power of Active Listening

Before launching into your own opinion, strive to truly understand where the other person is coming from. Actively listening means paying attention to both their words and nonverbal cues. Summarize their key points back to them to clarify and demonstrate your genuine interest.

Remember, There’s No Single “Right” Answer

It’s natural to think your idea is the best, but remember, there’s rarely a single “right” or “wrong” way to approach a problem. Release the need to be “right” and open yourself up to the possibility that another person’s perspective might have merit.

Learn from Past Experiences

Think back to conversations with family members or friends where disagreeing may have led to difficult conversations. What can you learn from those experiences to improve your approach this time?

Focus on the Goal, Not Winning

The aim of workplace disagreement is collaboration, not personal victory. Focus on what’s best for the project or team, even if it means adjusting your opinion. Respectful discussion can lead to solutions that are better than any individual idea.

Be Curious About Why

Instead of immediately dismissing an idea, ask questions to understand the other party’s reasoning. Being genuinely curious often reveals insights you hadn’t considered and can pave the way to finding a solution that incorporates the best of both ideas.

By seeking to understand and being open to new ideas, you demonstrate respect and encourage others to feel heard.

Effective Communication Techniques When Expressing Disagreement

Beyond a respectful mindset, there are practical communication strategies you can use to navigate workplace disagreements effectively.

Focus on “I” Statements

Instead of “You’re wrong,” frame your disagreement from your perspective. For example, “I see things differently” or “I have a different point of view.” This feels less accusatory and keeps the conversation productive.

Acknowledge the Other Person’s Point

Start by validating what you understand about the other person’s position. “I hear what you’re saying about my report, and I understand that’s important…” This shows respect and helps them feel heard before you disagree.

Choose Your Words Carefully

Avoid inflammatory language. Instead of getting stuck on who’s right or wrong, clearly explain your perspective. Choose calm, reasoned statements to keep the conversation from escalating into arguments.

Offer Solutions, Not Just Criticisms

If you disagree, come prepared with alternative solutions or improvement suggestions. This shows you’re committed to finding the best possible outcome, not just opposing others’ opinions.

Even during disagreement, respect, active listening, and a focus on collaborative solutions will keep the conversation focused and open to finding the best path forward. And never be afraid to present a differing viewpoint with an open mind—those are often where the greatest breakthroughs are found.

Active Listening and Empathy in Resolving Conflicts

Active listening and empathy are superpowers when navigating workplace disagreements. To truly understand someone else’s perspective, you must put aside the need to be “right” and step into their shoes momentarily. This doesn’t mean giving up on your viewpoint, but it allows you to see the situation differently.

Everyone has a unique way of seeing the world, shaped by their experiences, values, and beliefs. It’s essential to detach your personal feelings from the situation and listen without judgment. Focus on truly understanding what the other person is speaking about and why they feel the way they do.

Pay attention to their words, tone, and body language for a deeper understanding of their emotions. By being careful to communicate that you value their feelings and concerns, you build trust and open up the possibility of finding a solution that works for your entire team.

This type of empathetic listening strengthens your work relationships and shows genuine care even during a conflict. It’s important to remember that your job isn’t simply to win an argument at all costs.

Instead, cultivating positive relationships and a sense of shared purpose within your team should always be a top priority.

Strategies for Finding Common Ground and Reaching Compromises

Reaching a mutually agreeable outcome is possible even when starting from opposing viewpoints.

Focus on Shared Goals

What do you both ultimately want to achieve? Look beyond the immediate sticking points and focus on the bigger picture. Identifying shared goals provides a foundation to build upon and emphasizes your common purpose as colleagues.

Be Willing to Give a Little

Compromise means both parties make some concessions. Be prepared to adjust your position, showing flexibility and a willingness to find a middle ground. No one should feel like they completely “lose.”

Look for Creative Solutions

Sometimes, the best solutions aren’t immediately obvious. Think outside the box and brainstorm together. Could you combine elements of both proposals? Is there an entirely new approach you haven’t considered?

Take a Break If Needed

If emotions are running high and the conversation is going in circles, don’t be afraid to suggest taking a break. A little time to cool down and reflect can be very helpful. Reconvene with a fresh mindset and renewed effort to reach a resolution.

Finding a common perspective takes effort, but by responding respectfully, demonstrating a willingness to compromise, and focusing on shared objectives, you can navigate disagreements and maintain positive work relationships.

Avoid taking disagreements personally—your professional behavior matters most. Always hope for collaboration, and your team will benefit greatly if you approach every conflict resolution with that mindset.

Setting Boundaries and Maintaining Professionalism During Disagreements

While respectful discussion is critical, there are times when setting clear boundaries is equally important. Remember, you have the right to disagree respectfully, even with your boss.

  • Be Assertive, Not Aggressive: It’s possible to disagree strongly while still maintaining professional composure. Explain your opinion clearly and confidently, but avoid accusatory language or personal attacks. Remember, disagreeing with a person’s ideas doesn’t mean they are “wrong” as a person.
  • Don’t Get Drawn Into Drama: If the other party gets angry or tries to bait you, making you feel disrespected in the process, resist the urge to engage. Take a deep breath, calmly reiterate your main points, and consider changing the subject or ending the conversation if necessary.
  • Know When to Walk Away: Sometimes, the best solution is to agree to disagree. For example, if a discussion about a project’s direction is going nowhere, you might say: “It seems we have different views on this. Let’s bring in Brian to get their perspective.”
  • Focus on the Work: Ultimately, you and your colleagues are all there to do a job. Frame your disagreements not as personal battles but as different opinions on how to achieve the best possible outcome.

Maintaining professionalism in the face of disagreement helps you build a reputation as someone who is level-headed, collaborative, and always focused on finding the best solutions. It shows that you value your opinions and are willing to stand by them respectfully.

improving leadership communication

Conflict Resolution Techniques Taught by Peaceful Leaders Academy

Peaceful Leaders Academy goes beyond simply advocating for respectful disagreement. We provide concrete tools and strategies for navigating conflict effectively and promoting collaborative work environments.

  • Mediation: Mediation is a structured process where a neutral third party (often a trained mediator) helps facilitate a conversation between those in conflict. This technique is particularly useful when emotions are high and the parties involved struggle to see eye-to-eye.
  • Communication Skills (Verbal and Non-Verbal): So much of conflict resolution boils down to how we communicate. We teach how to choose your words thoughtfully, be aware of your tone of voice, and understand how your body language impacts the conversation.
  • Active Listening: True listening goes beyond passively hearing someone’s words. We emphasize active listening skills like summarizing, reflecting back emotions, and asking clarifying questions to ensure genuine understanding and minimize the risk of misunderstandings.
  • De-escalation: When conflicts escalate, they become exponentially harder to resolve. Our programs offer de-escalation tactics for diffusing tense situations, helping people regulate emotions, and creating space for productive dialogue.

Success Stories from the Real World

Sometimes, the best way to understand a concept is to see it in action. Below are a few real-life examples of how respectful disagreement led to positive outcomes in the workplace.

The Marketing Campaign “Refresh”

A marketing team was split on their new campaign approach. One side favored a bold, edgy direction, while the other wanted a safe, classic feel. After respectful discussion and careful listening to each other’s perspectives, they landed on a hybrid approach that was innovative and aligned with the brand’s core image. The campaign was wildly successful.

The Tech Team’s Timeline Challenge

A software development team disagreed on the timeline for a major product update. Some advocated a faster rollout to gain a competitive advantage, while others were concerned about quality risks. By collaborating and finding creative solutions to address everyone’s concerns, the team delivered a high-quality update within a competitive timeline.

The Office Space Debate

Colleagues clashed over the ideal office layout, with some wanting an open concept for collaboration and others desiring more privacy. Instead of remaining divided, they worked together to create a workspace with dedicated quiet zones, common areas, and the flexibility to support focus and teamwork.

Ready to Become a Master of Respectful Disagreement?

If you’re ready to take your conflict management skills to the next level, consider joining us for our workshop on disagreeing respectfully at Peaceful Leaders Academy. Our comprehensive training will equip you with all the strategies and tools you need to transform disagreements into opportunities for personal and professional growth.

Jeremy Pollack, Ph.D. is a conflict resolution specialist and founder of Pollack Peacebuilding and Peaceful Leaders Academy. He is also Chairman of the Board of the Peaceful Leadership Institute, the President of the Florida chapter of the Association for Conflict Resolution, and Chair of the Workplace Peace Committee of Division 48 (Division of Peace Psychology) of the American Psychological Association. His credentials include being a Certified Organizational Development Coach (CODC™), a Certified Clinical Trauma Specialist-Individual (CCTS-I™), and an Associate Certified Coach (ACC) under the International Coaching Federation. Jeremy is an Adjunct Professor of Psychology at Arizona College, and still actively participates in coaching and training sessions offered by his companies. He lives in Miami with his wife, Jenny, and their labradoodle, Denver.